Dateline: White Swan Hotel, Shamian Island Guangzhou, Guangdong China, 23 August 2004
Last night (Sunday night) was a fun time out for the three of us. Vonne had achieved a wonderful cyber-friendship with a woman from Kansas named Janet Fitzgerald (name of the first date I ever had, so easy for me to remember) prior to our trip, and she was delighted weeks ago to find out that Janet would not only be in our referral group, but would be traveling with us the entire three-weeks (meaning the picking-up middle week when the couples scattered to various provinces to pick up their babies prior to coming back together in Guangzhou for the consulate appointment). Well, the real sense of friendship proved as good as the cyber version, so we’ve gotten to know Janet and her husband Michael, first-time parents to Arwen (gotta like that name for literary references) through various times and meals shared since the 11th.
Last night we four got together with our babies and went out for a dinner at a Vietnamese restaurant. It was a really great meal in which we all took great delight in our babies natural ability to slurp noodles like old pros (quite hilarious to watch: just stick some in and watch the vacuum effect kick in!). After this great meal and great time together, we wandered around the island a bit, bumped into a convenience store where we scored some liquids, and then bumped into the China Doll shop just across the street from the front entrance of the Swan. A wonderful woman there who goes by Lisa turned on the softest and yet most effective sales job I’ve ever seen, so we ordered the last things we wanted to have made (various custom souvenirs and clothes) and simply enjoyed ourselves in conversation with this bright and charming woman whose store actually sends its profits to orphanages around the country (so we gladly deferred any attempts at bargaining down prices, which I personally dislike anyway).
Back home around ten I finally got around to reading my weekend editions of the International Herald Tribune and the page 1, column 1 story really jumped out at me (“Avian flu jumps to pig herds in China: Official disclosure raises worry on risk of human infection,” by Keith Bradsher of the NYT, 21-22 Aug). Seems a senior Chinese health official admitted that China has evidence that the A(H5N1) strain of avian influenza, which has killed a couple of dozen people in SE Asia so far this year (who caught it directly from poultry), has now mutated in a way that suggests it may be transferable human to human.
Everyone thought that killing 100 million chickens this year in Vietnam, Thailand, Malaysia and China had done the trick, and up to now there was no evidence of anything other than poultry-to-human transfer. But now China has disclosed that it found the virus in several pigs at farms in Fujian province, just north of Guangdong. Since Guandong is the source for several thousand pigs per month to travel mecca Hong Kong, this suggests the strain may yet prove to have global reach. All the big influenza outbreaks of history have seen the progression from birds to pigs to humans, so worst-casing is truly in order right now.
So you can imagine how my stomach felt after eating pork in a Vietnamese restaurant in Guangzhou just a few days before departing for Hong Kong. People traveling on adoption trips have gotten very ill on occasion, including catching SARS, so none of this is out of the realm of believability, but you want to keep it in perspective. I mean, somebody gets equine encephalitis in Rhode Island and it’s not like the state shuts down for the summer or anything. You’re still talking awfully fantastic odds, and yet few things make you feel farther away from home than the threat of serious illness.
Oddly enough, this morning (Monday 23) saw our appointment for Vonne Mei’s medical check-up as part of her visa application process, so we shlepped across the island in the morning’s sweltering heat and went to three stations at a local clinic which has a special shop just for international adoptions (meaning everyone who ever adopts from China basically goes through this drill if they’re American). So we did the temp’ing and the weighing first, then the body check by doc #2, and then the ear-nose-throat-plus-hearing check with doc number three. Vonne Mei came through with flying colors on all, being a rather strong and well-developed nine-month-old kid with a captivating smile and personality.
Meanwhile, I feel again on the downward slope as I believe I’m back to suffering the combined effects of the weather (sinuses) and the pollution (I’m pretty sure today should be at worst partly-cloudy, but the pervasive haze makes it impossible to tell—I mean you could barely spot the sun rising this dawn it’s so thick here). So I’m doing the migraine meds in addition to the Cipro for the GI biz. I’ve got enough of both to last us through our flight out of HK on Friday afternoon, but I admit to counting the days now. Despite the great accommodations, I grow weary of always being on somebody else’s schedule. Plus, I like my own car and driver versus a tour bus full of people rather randomly selected (some I like plenty, others . . . well, let’s just say there will be no hugs and kisses at departure).
I know I know, we’re all supposed to bond in this hugely meaningful way that lasts a lifetime, but that’s sort of like saying that you keep in contact with everyone who delivered in the same hospital as the day your wife did: it’s neither realistic nor particularly logical. Some people are adopting from China for the same reasons we are and—surprise surprise!—they’re a lot like us so we get along with them awfully well and probably will keep in touch with a good many over the years (with some allowances for the vast distances involved). Then there are others who seem to be doing it simply because it’s the easiest route for them and their appreciation for China as a place and culture is pretty much non-existent (“Can you believe these people? I mean, really! They’re just so different from Americans!”).
So we all checked out to adopt. Big deal! We all checked out for drivers licenses too—doesn’t make us all blood brothers or anything, or particularly great human beings. It just means we qualified and we’re all walking away with babies. Money is the biggest hurdle here, so I don’t like to kid myself that somehow this is all fate linking two great cultures together in some mystical bond. China is simply at a different point in its development and demographics, and this temporary situation is generating this flow of baby girls. It will last many more years but not indefinitely. I would be amazed to see it continuing past 2020, knowing what I do about China’s rapidly aging population (it will age more quickly than any society in human history). I view this as a sort of gift from history that we’re privileged to receive from China, and so we intend to do right by this generous offering of a daughter.
And we have been so lucky with this child. She fits us and our family like a glove. And yes, we are beginning to remember we have a family back in the states. In many ways, this artificial bonding process is well-designed for us to focus solely on baby, and I sort of feel like I’ve been given the chance to start over again as a dad knowing so much more than before. It’s like the fantasy we all have about returning to high school years after the fact but armed with all the poise we later find as adults. But there will be the issues of blending this child with three “biologicals,” and I don’t pretend it’ll be all peaches and cream, because it won’t. But it will be an education and a huge challenge in terms of personal growth, and I always welcome both, so I also don’t pretend I don’t know what we’re getting into here.
Thinking these thoughts tells me we’re moving back toward home mentally. Already, we’ve reached the point of our last Monday on the road. From here on out, it’s the end of days.
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