■"Think Globally, Eat Locally: How to protect food from bioterrorism," op-ed by Jennifer Wilkins, New York Times, 18 December 2004, p. A35.
My Mom can drive me nuts politically sometimes, but one thing she is always good for is spotting a "horse's ass" a mile away. Her take on Tommy Thompson as governor of Wisconsin was always just that: big blowhard who specialized in leaving messes for somebody else's watch.
Thompson's time at HHS was what you expect of him: lotsa press conferences full of sound and fury and signifying basically nothing, plus a record of achievements that will be debated if it's ever located. On his way out the door, he spouts some nonsense about how our food supply is super at risk for terrorist attack. Why? Because we don't check everything at every point in the process, so—shazam!—it must be totally at risk because . . . I dunno . . . look at the disastrous record we've had up to now in terms of bad food outbreaks, mass deaths from them, and . . .what the hell were we talking about again?
The food fear-mongering post-9/11 is one of the weirdest aspects yet of the reign of terror that is the army of self-appointed security experts that now besiege America on a daily basis regarding various sky-is-falling scenarios. I know, I know, it's all so much EASIER to pull off than anyone realizes!.
So here, in this op-ed, we finally get some answers about "how to protect food from bioterrorism." This lady's brilliant answer:
The solution to these insecurities is to establish community-based food systems that include many small farmers and a diversity of products.
My God, Willie Nelson and Farm-Aid would be proud. Let's return to 19th-century agricultural patterns across America just in case al Qaeda might strike. Sure, let's just reverse engineer our entire society on this one, because we just never know!
You know, when Mao planned his Great Leap Backward, his dream was to create a little iron smelting furnace in every peasant's back yard, lest poor China be held hostage to the industrialized West. Now, in response to the 7th-century types running global jihad against Westoxification, we should emulate Mao's dictum by returning to our agrarian roots. Victory gardens? Hell, entire Victory Farms!
This is beyond stupid. But somehow it's what the editors of the NYT op-ed page think we need to know.
We have officially reached the Idiotic Age in this Global War on Terrorism.
Thompson left too early. He was perfectly cast for this sort of role.
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