I began yesterday, in a fit of optimism. I had picked out a post from way back when that I really enjoyed, and decided to rewrite it and dramatically expand it.
So I plunged in around noon on Tuesday, writing four hours straight and--in the process--painfully excreting 1000 words, which is intense constipation by my standards (I like to write about 1k an hour when I get rolling). When I was finished at 4pm, my mind was fried and I read over the material. It struck me like a pile of turgid shit. I couldn't believe how bad it was.
So I let it stew and moved on to planning the second section of the first chapter. This one has a gimmick to it, which is something I like doing (a la "Seven Deadly Sins of Network-Centric Warfare"). I fiddled with that structure deep into the night.
When I got up this morning and started attacking the second section, I realized I wanted to write a little intro, salvaging what I could from yesterday's effort. Then, by rereading yesterday's effort, I realized that my main problem with it the day before was that I was fearful I wasn't covering all the essential items that I had since decided to cover systematically in the second section.
On that basis, I suddenly fell in love with the previous day's writing, but not so much that I didn't spend roughly 3 hours rewriting and expanding it to 2,500 words. I then sent it off to Sean for an initial style edit. He then sends off to Warren and three fellow bloggers who, in Greek chorus fashion, are playing the role of proxy reader that my late brother-in-law Steve fulfilled on PNM and BFA. They're my content safety net as well. They are all sworn to secrecy, and Putnam's legal team has all been provided their home addresses--just in case they break their vows of silence!
Seriously, I'm very grateful to have them aboard this time around. It ups my confidence level incredibly.
Then back to writing at noon today, tackling the second section of chapter one, which explores the function of grand strategy in the age of globalization. I plow into my structured approach, knocking out ten-plus entries over 5 hours. They total roughly 2,900 words, giving me 5,400 in the bank for the day.
My mind is fried at this point, which always makes me feel stupid. I am worried that my structure may be overly clever and I'm not sure how well it serves the chapter.
Then I break to go pick up my car from the body shop (don't ask, I didn't do it), have dinner with the kids, and then do the elliptical, brainstorming section three of the chapter. I keep asking myself, what does the audience want to hear from me about the Bush years. It sure as hell isn't some lit review of famous books.
Then the structure of the second section comes to the front of my brain: I will judge Bush based on the parameters I've established for thinking about grand strategy in this age. On that basis, I quickly pen a lengthy list of points to cover and I'm feeling much better.
Back upstairs to Bowflex with the missus and I reread both the intro section and my partially finished second section. They both read great and my confidence level soars again.
I'm ready for a martini and a ST [Star Trek] episode with the wife in the home theater.
Tomorrow I'm targeting another 4k to finish the second section and do the notes ordering so I can crank section three at the start of dawn on Friday.
In the last 24 hours I've considered quitting the book about a dozen times, and been convinced at least half as many times that all my writing so far is absolute crap. I've likewise seen my confidence level jump dramatically whenever I give the material a rest and read it later on paper as opposed to the screen.
I remain scared shitless about the project, though. I realize that, despite all my planning, I have no idea what this book is about.
Don't worry. That happened both times before. I find that the first two chapters are teeth-pulling exercises, with the notion of the book finally kicking in around chapter 3. I have this book structured for the main entree to begin in 3, acknowledging my tendencies. As with the other two books, I expect Mark and I to spend about half our time editing the first two chapters while the rest go about 3 times faster.
It does feel good to be writing so much and so fast, though. I've waited a long time to enjoy this sort of suffering again.
Comments (10)
Tom, you are crazier than I remember. Good luck
Posted by Kurt Siegenthaler | January 30, 2008 8:59 PM
Good Luck Tom. This helps me put things in perspective as I write my Masters Thesis. It sounds very familiar:) All the best.
Posted by Kevin | January 31, 2008 1:30 AM
Tom,
You have the support of millions of minds across this globe and a few angels in this on going effort.
To quote the great American strategist John Boyd:
"Life is conflict, survival, and conquest."
Your efforts will be sucessful. Not because of a fat royalty check, but because you feel a sense of purpose that will carry you forward.
Best,
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January 31, 2008 10:55 AM
I beilve the answers to very seeming compilcated questions are always very simples Dr barnett.simplicity frees us humans from alot of the problems we face.
Posted by farhad | January 31, 2008 12:13 PM
Tom,
Your readers are praying for you to help the political structures focus on America's role. After hearing from the candidates and reading their position papers I'm not sure they have a road map or even know the path. I'm tired of hearing change - change to what. Where is the candidate with the beef?
Strategists like you help us, the average citizen, clarify what we want the politicians to do and we must be persistent in holding them accountable to manage the affairs utilizing the guiding principles of the country as the Founding Fathers clearly intended. The Tom Barnett’s of the world are today’s guides to America’s future using those principles, we are the citizen soldiers and Marines. We are “unpatiently” awaiting the update of your vision to further clarify the goal.
Giving your blog readers graphic insight into your writing processes, and life challenges with such eloquent phrasing as a “It struck me like a pile of turgid shit,” is very humanizing. I sent a friend a few blog articles and he commented to me. “This guy appears to have his shit together and recognizes crap regardless of whose orifice it emanated from.”
Tom, a college creative writing professor once told me, “Writing is like giving birth – you carry the idea for months and it grows and differentiates into the various parts of the whole and then you labor over it , you squeeze it out and turn it over to the attending medical staff who thoroughly examine it and they turn it back to you to nurture it and live with it.”
At the rate world affairs is turning this will require you to give birth every 15 months.
Crank it out baby! You’ve got people who will help you support the new child.
Semper Fi
Posted by Steve Gallison | January 31, 2008 12:15 PM
Reminds me of an essay Robert Heinlein wrote about his early years in the sci-fi business. He started writing short stories to pay the bills and was doing fairly well at it. Well enough to announce at an informal gathering of local authors that he was going to quit as soon as he got his mortgage paid off; one colleague responded "Have you ever heard of any retired writers?".
Sure enough, that mortgage turned into a new car and house repairs turned into a life-time addiction, complete with withdrawal symptoms if he spent too long away from a typewriter. Now that I think about it, what you just described sounds a lot like the self-abuse an alcoholic friend of mine goes through:P Oh well, at least your laptop won't destroy your liver.
Posted by Michael![[TypeKey Profile Page]](http://www.thomaspmbarnett.com/weblog/nav-commenters.gif)
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January 31, 2008 1:29 PM
no, Michael, but he does go through laptops pretty regularly ;-)
Posted by Sean Meade | January 31, 2008 1:42 PM
Tom: I can't read stuff on the screen either. Used to be able to crank out a paper without a single error in spelling, punctuation or grammar. Twenty seven years of writing police reports wrecked that. Now I need to write something and let it sit for a day (hard to do) before I proofread it. I notice that I tone down the rhetoric quite a bit after the 24 hour waiting period. Kind of like the 3 day waiting period for buying a firearm.
Posted by Ted O'Connor | January 31, 2008 3:47 PM
Tom,
From a long time reader and raving fan. Your bi-polar moments sound about right for the seriousness of the undertaking. Just shows you really care about the quality of your work. Thanks for that. You taking it seriously keeps the books jumping off the shelves. And reading them helps me keep my credibility up. ;-) For this reader, dont waste too much effort on W's legacy, what I want from my grand strategist is forward looking Grand Strategy, globalization forecasts, and GWOT trends. Besides, post W essays will be a 50 cent sport for a year or so, and a dime a dozen after that, why risk getting lumped into that group, you have better stuff to offer. Thanks again for your great work. Looking forward to this next one, but not till you say its ready!
Posted by Jay Kirstein | January 31, 2008 7:05 PM
Kevin,
I totally agree with you about the thesis. I am still struggling with mine. I feel your pain ;)
This post gives me hope to carry on! Some days I really want to say to hell with the thesis, but I am not a quitter...
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January 31, 2008 9:10 PM