Dateline: Lakeview Hotel, Hongdu Nanchang, Jiangxi Province, China, 17 August 2004
Yesterday was quiet morning and then to notary for fairly perfunctory
ceremony. We show passports. Answer questions about age and profession.
And we get the "red book" that is our official approval for adoption.
Then a quick bus ride to the Walmart across the street from 1 August Square (Nanchang is a "hero city" due to the 1 August uprising of years ago). Multistoried Walamart where you take carts from floor to floor using special escalators like those found at airports.
I go with local agency rep Kitty (her American name) to third floor to check out air conditioners, hoping we can buy one here and have local Walmart deliver to orphanage in Nanchang. No go. So Kitty will try local reps of exclusive dealers here today and see if local GE-type company will deliver a unit straight to orphanage. It would be in two pieces. First is coffin-sized upright unit that sits outside, and second is more window-sized AC unit that distributes the air inside. Looking at 3-4,000 Yuan, or about$400-500. The five families adopting from Yongfeng Social Welfare Institute will all split the cost. Looks like only Vonne and I (plus Vonne Mei) and father Joey and his daughter will make three-hour jaunt to Yongfeng to see orphanage. Others not interested cause all our kids were foster care throughout, but we want to go to see town, see orphanage where she was dropped off at door, meet director, make donation personally, etc. Vonne and I already sent a big box of stuff weeks ago to the orphanage, but we think it's important to be able to say to Vonne Mei that we've been to these places and seen these things and met those people, otherwise it's likely she'll never know anyone with even such secondhand knowledge.
After Kitty and I check that out, I head down to second floor where Vonne is shopping in the grocery store-part. Place is crammed and it takes me a long time to find here. All of a sudden I realize I am this 6'2" European-descent person walking around with a Chinese baby in my arms surrounded by a sea of Chinese.
People didn't just stare. They stopped in their tracks and stared. They ran to get their friends, brought them back to the spot and pointed at us, talking excitedly. Some had dismissive, nasty looks on their faces, but the vast majority were very admiring. I sensed that the racial difference was only part of the issue. What was even weirder was seeing a father walking around with a baby in his arms, something you never see here. Young men were especially intrigued by this. And young women would bring their boyfriends over to check us out, then the girls would basically punch them in the arm and say something along the lines of, "See, see how this man treats this baby so lovingly!" And the guy would sort of stare at me like I was from Mars, and the girl would look at me like I was the neatest thing she ever saw.
That dynamic was repeated time and time again. It really was the rock star treatment in a way I haven't experienced since I visited a Museum in India without my handlers and simply wandered around head and shoulders above a sea of brown short people.
But this situation was far more meangingly and emotionally charged. There is a lot of amazement at Westerners wanting to adopt and some real resentment and shame felt by the locals on this subject--as if China is developing but not fast enough to take care of its own daughters so it "gives them away to foreigners." Touchy subject, and yet, I felt far more warmth and approval than anything else--especially from the oldest people.
Still, you can imagine how nerve-racking it could have been if Vonne Mei had cried her eyes out and started reaching for the closest Chinese female, which would have been completely reasonable to expect, since she had never seen a Westerner until about 20 hours earlier.
But she did not. Instead, she has bonded with us so quickly that she is saddened every time we leave her gaze. She doesn't freak or anything, but she's clearly saddened and grows more anxious. She really likes to be held and like to have us around. Yesterday, she proudly stood unassisted for Vonne in bed a number of times and clearly was made ecstatic by our boisterous approval.
The Walmart experience was an interesting eye-opener, one not easily forgotten. It's a big world out there and I got a fascinating sense of just how big it can be by walking around as the odd-man-out-and-about-with-his-baby.
Quiet night with room service yesterday. First bath last night. Cleaning dirty ears this morning.
Today we go shopping again. Tomorrow is the big day trip to Yongfeng.
Hard to believe we've been in China for so long. Hard to remember American food, newspapers, TV. I watch the Olympics plenty and it seems like the Chinese are winning all the medals, but that may just be the local coverage ;<)
All is good. Vonne Mei surpasses all expectations and her beauty astounds. It is amazing to bond this tightly this fast with something. It's the first time I've fallen in love with a stranger in almost 25 years, and it feels very wonderful. Vonne feels very much the same way. We thank God for all that has been given to us in this process. We have been incredibly blessed.
Tom (for Vonne and baby)
